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Because Life's too Short Not to Laugh at it

I'm gazing spellbound at the holographic scene.

     A broad white staircase goes up somewhere into a translucent blueness. A slender, frail woman's figure is on the front landing. Her sad, pale face touches me; I notice a dumb appeal for help from her large green eyes. The scene dissolves slowly and the commander's voice puts me back into reality.  

     “You know Lady Grace is one of our most loyal allies on the Attar II; and what you see is the last holo record of before the video connection went off. Yet, we know she's still alive for we get occasional audio signals with her voice. And now, Lieutenant Peck, let me hear again, what the purpose of your mission is.”

     “The unknown monsters on the planet Attar II besieged the castle of Lady Grace for several weeks and many of her faithful subjects have fallen. Because the situation became critical you sent Lieutenant Crawford on the rescue mission three days ago. He'd reported he succeeded in arriving at the castle, but then we lost any connection with him. My primary task is to land on the planet, drive my armored car to the castle and free Lady Grace by force if necessary.”

     I tried to hide my excitement--what a glorious task! A helpless beauty and a fearless knight who'll rescue her...

     “Very good, lieutenant. And your second task? ”

     “To find out what had happened to my comrade-in-arms and fetch him or his dead body.”

     “Excellent.  I wish you good luck, Lieutenant Peck.”

     #

     The first thing I feel is the salty taste of blood in my mouth and then a blunt pain at the nape of my neck.

     Now I recall the sequence of dramatic events exactly at the moment when I noticed the plateau on which the castle of Lady Grace stands. A huge explosion that meant an instantaneous breakdown of my spacecraft module engine--my spasmodic efforts to slow down my too fast approaching to the uneven surface of Attar II--the angry thundering of emergency jet drive--the violent thrust of the module parachute--and, finally, the brutal impact a split second before I lost my senses.

     I'm hanging downwards and when I try to untangle my seat belts I groan with pain; most likely a couple of my ribs are broken. Awkwardly I slip onto the floor, shaking my head. All around me there are smashed electronic apparatus, a heap of spare equipment changed into a useless junk.

     And the worst of all--the passage to my armored car is hopelessly blocked.  I have no arms on me except the paralyzer hanging on my belt.

     Suddenly, a strong smell of smoke fills my nostrils--oh my God, something is on fire! I try to climb over the ruins to the exit and now I see the flames are blazing in one corner of my module.

     My equipment is swiftly transforming into a glowing furnace. 

     I try to get out through the exit trapdoor, which is now nearly above my head. The knob for automatic opening is right in front of me! But it's useless now so I try to pull the lever--it sticks. I pull it again with all my strength; the trapdoor opens abruptly and I fall over the heap of equipment. A sharp, violent stabbing pain rips through my thigh--but there is no time to look at my wound.

     The fire is approaching fast, the suffocating smoke makes me cough and my eyes are brimming with tears. I must find something useful--oh, here it is, my laser, the most powerful personal weapon I know of. I swing it out through the trapdoor and then, with the utmost effort, I manage to lift my sore body, twisting my way through it and, finally, I fall on the stony ground. 

     I gasp for breath; I'm dizzy, my pulse quickening. A blue-white sun glows from the violet sky, its sharp rays dazzle my eyes and prick sting every part of my uncovered skin. All around me is an endless, glittery white plain. Only in one direction, on my left, a silhouette juts out the flat surface of the plain. Is it possible that's the Lady Grace's castle? If so, then--

     My musing stops for I catch sight of a monster.

     A freak, an unbelievable mis-creation from a nightmare--it's a beast fifteen feet tall and equally wide, a real Gorgon with undulating margins within which a sort of jell-o is flashing with interchanging colors. I'm staring in horror at its changing contours, at its form which is a negation of all possible forms. The monster is growing bigger--and only now I realize it's approaching me, slowly but inexorably.

     Reflectively I aim my laser at the center of that horrifying bulk and convulsively squeeze the trigger. I watch with a wicked satisfaction as the ruby-red laser beam penetrates deep into the monster's body.

     But, how in Space is it possible that nothing is happening? Why doesn't the enormous heat of the laser beam--several thousand degrees--burn a hole in that disgusting bulk? Why I can't smell the offensive stink of burning flesh? The monster pays no heed to my lethal weapon; the waving jell avoids the beam in a strange way and in the next instant comes back, undamaged. There is no any wound in its tissue, no scorching scratch at all. Instantaneously, the ruby-red beam pulses two, three times, then stops.

     My laser is empty now and the Gorgon is still coming nearer to me, in no hurry, self-confidently, as if it knows I can't escape it.

     My useless laser slips out of my hand. Now, nothing remains but run for my life. I try to sprint but my left leg refuses to obey me; I stumble and fall on the dusty ground. What's the matter with me? At the moment my brains are useless but my ancient survival instinct doesn't let me down. With utmost effort I manage somehow to stand up, but my left leg fails again. For the first time, I look down. The left trouser leg of my flying suit is thoroughly soaked with my blood and at every step a tiny trickle of crimson blood pours out of the wound.

     For heaven's sake--I must have nicked an artery! I know how lethal that wound is; if I don't stop or at least reduce that bleeding at once, I'll be soon too weak to run away. I press hard on the wound with my thumb. I try to hop on my right foot, but that doesn't work, I must to lean on my left leg and every time some more blood trickles under my thumb. 

     I realize I'm running away at random, just away from the beast, and that's foolish. I have to run more to the west where the plain with Lady Grace's castle is. Only there do I have a slight hope to find some help or at least to conceal myself.

     I'm trying to turn to the left, but my wounded leg won't allow me; I fall on my knees and hands, then I stand up again, pressing my thumb on the wound and staggering like a dead drunk boozer. Oh God, let me reach the castle! Now I'm just a stone's throw from it--but the Gorgon is even closer to me. I'm breathless, dripping with sweat, my mad pulse trying to blow up my chest; my strength reduces for the life is still fleeing out of my wound. 

     The Gorgon is so close to my beck I can smell its disgusting stench. I'm only a dozen steps from the huge gate of the castle--only eight, five, two... But all my effort is in vain for the gate is closed and an enormous bolt hinders my way. Everything is over.

     The Gorgon is next to me, nearly over me. I turn around, wrathfully, for I've nothing more to lose. In these last seconds of my life, I'll look directly at my executioner; it mustn't show I'm frightened to death. I stand upright and my hand feels my paralyzer hanging on my belt. Wait a second, you damned freak! I'll show you what I'm capable of--I'll burn your bloody guts before you finish me!

     I grab my paralyzer and stretch both my arms out into the Gorgon's varying bulk and squeeze the trigger.

     I hear the frightful high voltage buzz and see the dark emptiness emerging around the crackling sparks--but just for a few seconds and then the mass returns in its earlier intact form.  The Gorgon is invulnerable, indestructible...

     The paralyzer slips out of my powerless hands; my knees are weak so I have to lean against the gate. I close my eyes, waiting for death to come--for the fatal strike, for the bite of sharp fangs, for the ripping of giant claws or for something even more fearful... 

     Suddenly, the gate behind my back opens, I lose my balance, falling backwards, and an unbelievable scene appears before my astonished eyes.

     A broad white staircase goes up somewhere into a translucent blueness. On the front landing, a slender woman with a pale face and large green eyes is sitting in the armchair. Yet there isn't any trace of helplessness in her self-confident poise and her gaze shows a cold, steely determination. A few steps from her is something--something so odd that I can't, at first, recognize what it is.

     When I see its nature, the discovery freezes me on the spot.

     A uniform with lieutenant epaulets is lying on the ground; a few steps further there is a huge rotisserie over the extinct embers. And on the skewer is impaled... 

     I feel nauseous, so I have to sit down on the ground. 

     Lady Grace looks me over from head to toe.

     “Well, two delicacies in three days--that's not bad at all.” A broad smile appears on her face as she turns to Gorgon. 

     “Good job, lad. Take tomorrow off.”

By Edward Rodosek

Edward is a construction engineer, Doctor of Technical Science and Senior Professor in Faculty of Civil Engineering, Ljubljana, Slovenia, EU.  Beside his professional work, he writes science fiction and is the author of four novels and fourteen collections of short science fiction stories in Slovenia.  He has had over three dozen short stories published in Science Fiction magazines in the US, UK and Australia.  He has recently published a collection of short stories in the US entitled "Beyond Perception."